The Hardest Thing I've Ever Done . .

was to let this kid walk out of my house, get in his car, and head back to school.

Isn't he cute standing there in his little Converse tennis shoes and jacket that is "the goat!"? Oh . . . my heart hurts, my head hurts, my stomach hurts.

Before he left, Dave cooked steamed lobster for dinner. I don't like lobster. I ate left-over pizza.

But Brennan and Dave ate the lobster, and only lobster, nothing else. And that is because Dave thought he was cooking up some instant potatoes to go with the lobster. Yummy instant potato pearls that turned out to be a big ol' pan full of instant milk. But the lobster was the hardest, and he got THAT right. Good job Dave. Good Bye Brennan.

The After Christmas Funk . . .

it's knocking hard at the door. It came while I was taking down the Christmas tree - the one Drew helped me put up and I had to stop! So I did this instead . . .

I finish TWO projects, both of which had been waiting at least three years to come to fruition. The quilt, one I was quilting to take to the cabin, has been on the quilting frames through two cabin summers. The tile picture I actually designed my bathroom around. Picked out the tile and picked out the paint based on the colors in the picture and it has taken me an untold number of years to grout and hang the thing. And now she's done :)

By the way, does anyone else out there have a husband who hangs their pictures using a level? Hangs pictures, places furniture, plants the garden. If so, you might be married to an engineer.
He makes me smile, and it kind of lifts the funk :)

A New Year, An Empty Nest

There, I said it out loud . . . sort of. I've been whispering it in my mind for weeks now, friends have been nodding, smiling and saying it to me for months. With all the extra people we've had around our house the past year I had secretly convinced myself it would never happen. A wish unfulfilled, for Brennan told me today that he's leaving on Sunday to head back to school and when he leaves, our nest is empty. What is a mother who's whole world is centered around caring and nurturing to do when there's no one left to care for or nurture? She grasps at straws, that's what. And that is what I did today, the first day of 2010. And those straws I grasped at today were called "mending".

This is Brennan's new jacket. He describes is as "the goat!!" (The goat is good, by the way, really, really good) But the pretty fabric lining the pockets of the jacket are too delicate for the cold hands that have been stuffed into said pockets, and one pocket was torn. So I took this jacket apart to get to the inside lining of the pocket and I fixed it.
Now, you have to know that I don't mend. I've explained to Dave many times that my sewing ability is creatively rooted, there is really nothing functional about it. But today I was hanging on to a thread, so to speak, so I mended. Not only Brennan's jacket, but his belt, his backpack and his jeans, which he wanted patched to look like he had bought them that way. But since my sewing ability is creatively rooted, I couldn't remember how to change my machine to the stitch that looks like you bought those jeans from the store looking that way, so this he what he got. (It looks better close up, don't you think?)

I haven't seen these in the stores yet, but I think if Brennan wears them around campus enough, they are going to catch on. And if not, at least it might ratify the fact that my sewing ability is rooted in creativity. There is nothing functional about it.

The Future . . .

Is in these faces. And I'm not even worried!

About ten hours after arriving home from dropping Drew off at the MTC (sob) I got back in the car and headed BACK to Salt Lake with all of these girls. Plus one more that we couldn't get to put her phone down long enough to jump in the picture.

Oh, there she is, the one in the back talking on her phone. That's Bonnie and she seriously talked on her cell phone the ENTIRE time we were ohhhing and Ahhhing over the lights at Temple Square. Kids these days :)

I drove the Landcruiser CLEAR FULL of Beehives. I now know why they are called Beehives!! They are busy little people, these Beehives. They NEVER sleep, and they don't stop TALKING. EVER! But they are so darn cute :)

We stayed in the home of a very nice lady in Riverton who let us sleep on her white carpet and came running every time we couldn't get her front door to open. I said, "Sorry we can't open your door, but we're from the country." She insisted the problem was with her door, not with us. See, very nice lady.These cute girls were the lone Laurels. They rode in a whole separate car and slept all the way. They left the Beehives to me. Thanks girls.

And this cute girl in one of our fearless leaders. She had just won those beads in a killer White Elephant game. I won a toilet plunger. I have no White Elephant game skills at all. But I had fun!! And I'm told that is all that matters. That and helping to build the future. I love it!

He's A Missionary Now . . .

We love you, we will miss you, but what an adventure lies ahead!

Saying Goodbye . . .

Marie-Laure will leave us on Wednesday. Who knew it would be so hard to say goodbye to someone you have only known three shorts months? First Marie-Laure will leave, then Drew . . I can't stand it. I'm not going to think about it any more. This is a video Marie-Laure made for us. Enjoy it - "It's REALLY cute!" (Imagine that said with a cute French accent). We will miss you, Marie-Laure :'(

A Real Wilderness Experience

You don't stay at the Cozzens house for any length of time and then try to leave without having what we lovingly call A Real Wilderness Experience. A Real Wilderness Experience always starts with us going out into the wilderness to have a good time and ends with a lot of, well, yelling going on. And we provided that today for Marie-Laure. Lucky her!

In our defense, we told her before we left that we were going out to have A Real Wilderness Experience, so I think the fact that she still came along with us made her at least partially responsible. We went into Canyonlands through Beef Basin and over Elephant Hill. It was a beautiful day. Perfect for A Real Wilderness Experience.

At first Marie-Laure reveled in the excitement of the day. She spent part of the ride standing up through the sun roof . . .

But eventually, she just climbed right out onto the roof and rode there. That's me driving. See my face sticking out the window?

Then after a while, we decided to just let Marie-Laure drive. And she did a great job chauffeuring us through the desert. Especially considering she doesn't drive. Well, she doesn't drive France. She drives here because we let her . . . because she likes to drive.

And for a girl who hasn't even driven much on smooth, straight roads, she really did great on bumpy dirt roads. Although she kept repeating, "This is really, really dangerous!" And if you tried to talk to her, "Shhtt! I need concentration." Then right down the hill she would go.

She would come to a challenging place like this and say, "This is not for drive, it is for walk!" Or, "Oo la la, it is NOT possible!" But she proved herself wrong every time and just kept on driving.

The yelling part of the Real Wilderness Experience involved a steep, rocky hill, Dave screaming "Brake! Brake!", Marie-Laure not understanding driving terminology, and all of us shooting backwards down the steep, rocky hill until coming to a sudden stop when the Landcruiser hit a rock and got high centered. My kids are nodding their heads now and say, "Yep, Real Wilderness Experience!"

But I lifted and pushed and Dave drove and we got that Landcruiser unstuck and made it home in time for the Adult Meeting of Stake Conference. It was a beautiful day for a Real Wilderness Experience - Although Marie-Laure is not sure she will ever be the same again.