Musings Of A Mom Who's Been There

I was disturbed today to read the following article - an article that has gone viral on the internet.  I really don't have to post the link because you can find it anywhere, but here it is just in case you've been out of touch today.
Tooele-teen-gets-national-attention-over-dress-code-drama.html



My initial reaction was possibly like yours, "well, she really isn't dressed that immodestly,especially considering what I've seen girls wearing to school  Why are they picking on her?"  But I've had school dress code issues before, only mine were with our school being TOO lenient with a dress code, so that initial reaction left pretty quickly and I was left with the following thoughts.

First of all, they admit in the article that her dress was 1/2 inch shorter than the dress code allows.  BUT there were students who were dressed far worse than she was, why weren't they singling THEM out?  And leaving her alone?  And letting her wear her 1/2 too short dress?   Because, as she admits, "This was really embarrassing."  But, if her dress really was, or even if it wasn't, a half inch too short, then wouldn't it be a great teaching moment to say to school officials, "Thank you for having a dress code.  We will be more careful to make sure our daughter's clothing fits the dress code you have set because we appreciate high standards."  Nope, this dad compares his daughter's being held in the office for a dress code violation while he, the father, brought her more appropriate clothing, as the beginning of her life of crime.  Over reacting?  Just a little bit, I believe. 

Second, they state that this is the only type of dress available for purchase in today's stores.  And I am left wondering about the implication here.  Should we base our personal standards of dress on what the fashion world is selling us?  Because that is a scary thought!   No, in every age there have been standards issues with the clothing industry and girls have overcome those issues over and over again and lived to tell about it.  This young lady can, too, and she may even be better off in the end.       

And third, they are hoping by making this an issue "this will help it get corrected a little bit."  After all, this is 2012, not 1912.  So, in 2012 how short is too short?  Is three inches above the knee a safe limit to set?  Or is that too 1912?  Should they set it at four, or five?  Who decides?  Because we can't leave that decision to school personnel, they are probably the ones who set this inappropriate dress limit that is apparently much too strict.  The only option left is to have no dress code at all.  And that just depresses me all to pieces.      

Lastly, I am so saddened that this girl is receiving all of this attention for standing down instead of up.  Let's take a stand for lower standards, not higher.  This girl and her family are hoping by making a big deal out of this that the school will lower their standards.  What a sad thing to stand for, lower standards.  As I read this I was reminded of many times I stood with my children on many difficult school issues, but this one in particular seemed to fit the bill for this example.  My son had an English teacher that he and all of his friends thought was much too hard a teacher for eighth grade students.  After all, one of his friends had a Dad who was in a college English class and HIS class wasn't as hard as their eighth grade English class.  I remember talking to him about it, and then saying, "I just can't go in to a teacher and say 'I think you expect too much'.  I can never fault a teacher for having high expectations for his students.  You're just going to have to work harder."  And he did.  And that teacher is still teaching.  And, ironically, he no longer is the hardest English teacher in the school district.  He has been replaced by a teacher with even higher expectations.  per aspera ad astra  ("through hardship to the stars")

In the last General Conference a talk by Quinton L. Cook called "In Tune With the Music of Faith"  states, "We also recognize that many individuals are not in tune with sacred things. Chief Rabbi Lord Sacks of England, speaking to Roman Catholic leaders last December at the Pontifical Gregorian University, noted how secular some parts of the world have become. He stated that one culprit is “an aggressive scientific atheism tone deaf to the music of faith.”  That secularism is only going to get worse and at a more accelerated pace.  At some point people of faith are going to have to take a stand.  My hope for myself, as well as for my friends and family is that they stand up - not down.